Why do I not remember you?
by BBleached
Summary: She feel his touch, hear his voice and smell his scent. Why wont she wake up? Is she dead? The story takes place during episode 132, kind of alternate ending. HitsuKarin Complete? Maybe an epilogue or more chapters. Plz R&R!
1. Why?

**Hello everyone again!Now I'm coming up with a veeeeery short story since I'm right on my way to a b-day party xD and I thought I have to upload something..  
The story takes place during episode 132, kind of alternate ending. **

* * *

"_A soul, a soul that never would allow any kind of sorrow or pain.  
Who would blame her if she could save the one she loved if she put herself up instead?  
Oh well, everyone.  
She was the one who was protected, not the one who protects.  
Even if she wanted the opposite.  
But still, she's the one I never would leave, but fate has something else on its mind."_

* * *

**Karin's POV:**

"Come on wake up Karin.. wake up"I heard a voice calling her name, a boy, who was he? Oh, wait, I played soccer with my friends.  
Then he came, helping them to match up against the middle schoolers. What happened next? Yeah right, that damn Hollow.  
Wait, where did it go?  
"Karin don't say this is a joke, you have to wake up now.." I felt his hand on my wrist, checking my pulse. I tried to open my eyes but they remained shut.  
Damn it. They're waiting for me at home.  
"No pulse.." I heard him whisper. "What should I do now? Her soul isn't here.. yet."  
No pulse? Don't be kidding! I'm not dead yet! I feel your touch, I hear you, I can even smell your scent!

I tried to open my eyes again and this time it worked, but I stood up now, I didn't have the feeling of laying in the dirt.  
I turned my head just to see a surprised face. White hair, teal eyes, wearing a black kimono with a white haori. And a sword.  
"Karin.." I watched him walking towards me, still holding his sword tight.  
Who was he again? Wait, if he has a sword, he maybe was the one who saved me, but how does he knows my name?  
"And you are?" I asked as he raised his hand to my face, but he dropped it at my question.  
"You don't remember? I'm not surprised." I saw the disappointment in his eyes. "Well I'm just taking care of your soul."  
"My soul? Hey I'm not dead yet." Then it finally got me, I saw myself laying on the ground, lifeless, and on my chest now, I had a very ugly chain. The same chain as the souls I've met before. "Oh well.. shit happens" I felt his gaze upon me. "You had to do something right?"  
"Yeah.. I'm really sorry for what has happen."  
"Don't blame yourself."  
"I know, but sometimes it can't be helped. Ready?"  
"I think so, what will happen?" He smiled, I felt it was a smile, just for me, a smile he never would smile to another person, what was he to me?  
Why couldn't I remember him, I remembered everything else. My family, my friends, my life, but not him. Why?  
"You will go to another place, finding peace, I'm sure we will meet again."  
"Your name is?" Then a smirk came up on his face, now covered with the sunrays, which left his smile more mysterious, right word? No, it was more.. Concerning?  
"You will remember it by time, I'm sure of that Karin." He raised his sword and patted it's hilt on my forehead. "Until then Karin, bye." I smiled as he returned his sword at his back.

"Thanks.."

* * *

**So.. here it is, short? Yeah xD complain if you want. (_bad english I know -.- blame if you want_)  
Someone who know how it went with Karin? :3 well I'm open for a epilogue if someone wants it, and maybe make some more chapters! ^^ your choice.  
It's deep, it's very deep.. someone who wants to know WHY she doesn't remember him? X)  
And also, who is talking at the beginning? :3 well you should all know xD  
So please R&R!**


	2. Five years later

**Duh, I decided to write another chapter of "Why don't I remember you?"  
****All I can say is: Thanks to ShikalllTema and deidaralover12345 who made me do this chapter!  
****I kinda started on an other fanfic where Karin also had lost her memory (I think I forgot this fic..) so..instead of writing two different stories about memories, I decided to make them into one! And sorry..no Hitsugaya in this chapter..I'M SORRY!**

**So back to the story..**

**Just a short disclaimer before the story begins: I do not own Bleach! (If I did..it wouldn't look like Bleach x.x)**

* * *

"_There was something about him that she couldn't forget. Was it his smile or his laugh? Or was it even his touch? She doesn't know. Not even his name."_

* * *

**Karins POV:**

I woke up on an empty field. I felt the smooth breeze in my face. Where am I? Oh yeah. I'm dead. The living, uh..dead proof of fates luckly favourite teasing object. But still..this damned empty, silent field drives me insane! Sigh. Luckly me, lying alone in an empty field. I closed my eyes, imagined someone, who I didn't knew who it was. He said I would remember him by time..but when? Have you ever said your name to me? You just showed up and helped me, us. And that smile before I left. You'd never smiled like that before huh? That cold face of yours..  
Blue sky with white clouds, floating freely over my head. I thought the world of dead was going to be more..horrible. This..is just peaceful, warm and welcoming. Maybe it was my imagination..but I think I saw something white passing by my eyes. I forced myself up on my knees, took a good look on the surroundings and then let out a sigh. Maybe it was my imagination. Tigers doesn't exists here right?

**Normal POV:**

"What if they do?" Karin jumped at the question and turned around to see who it was and a beautiful, white tiger stood in front of her, showing no trace of fear or trace of anger. Just standing there majestically and calm.  
"How could you hear me?" Karin asked surprised, not by it's presence but by that it had read her thoughts.  
"I'm a part of you Karin. I have heard you all the time." The white tiger answered.  
"A..part of..me?" The tiger took a step closer and watched Karin closely.  
"Yes..a part of you, like a part of your soul. The one you are now. I think you said that you thought that the world of dead shouldn't be like this right?"  
"Yeah.." Karin replied.  
"This is not the world of dead or Soul Society. This is my world. Our world. The world that only you have permission to enter." The tiger turned it's head and looked at the sky. "The sky have never been so blue and the wind have never been more comfortable."  
"Why..?"  
"Because you have found what you've been missing for a long time, but everything will come it's way and you will soon..remember everything. Even..him.."  
"You know who he is, don't you?" Karin asked.  
"Kind of..who knows..it's up to you Karin..show me if you're worth to wield me as your guardian." The tiger started to vanish slowly.  
"How..?"  
"Just wake up Karin, just wake up, you have been out for too long now..your time will come."

Karin opened her eyes for the second time and this time she didn't found an empty field, now it was a sunset.  
"Where am I..?" Karin groaned.  
"You're in the 13th Division." A man's voice answered. "Good afternoon, Kurosaki-chan."  
"Good afternoon..may I ask you who you are?"  
"Ukitake Juushirou, captain of this division." Ukitake replied.  
"Nice to meet you Ukitake-san." Karin bowed her head. "May I ask you how long I've been out?"  
"It's five years since we found you in Rukongai, unconscious. From there we brought you to the 4th Division's head quarters and you've been laying here for about 3 days now since your state was stabile and they said you were going to wake up soon." Ukitake answered.  
"Five..years..my God, that's a long time..but it feels like it was yesterday."  
"Do you remember anything?"  
"No..I don't think so..or..I do remember..my family, goat-chin, Yuzu and Ichi-nii."  
"That's good, anything else?"  
"No..I think I'd hit my head.." Karin groaned again. "And..also, you're a shinigami right?"  
"That's right. Now Kurosaki-chan, please go back to sleep, you have a long day before you tomorrow." Ukitake said and walked out of the room. "And feel free to ask anything."

The next day, Karin woke up with an enormous headache.  
"What a pain.." Karin groaned as Ukitake walked in.  
"I see you're awake Kurosaki-chan."  
"Good morning, Ukitake-san." Karin replied.  
"I think there's some people outside the door that wants to meet you Kurosaki-chan." Ukitake smiled. "Feel free to crush the door Kurosaki-kun."  
"Karin!!!" Ichigo rushed in, fortunatly not breaking the door, followed by Isshin, Yuzu, Rukia, Orihime, Ishida, Tatsuki and Keigo.  
"Hey guys, what are you all doing here?" Karin asked surprised.  
"We haven't seen each other in five years and that's everything you have to say?!" Rukia yelled.  
"What should I say then? I have been out so I kinda don't know anything.." Karin said back.  
"Ne Karin-chan, we'll explain everything as it comes right?" Yuzu asked.  
"Yeah yeah, just go on.."  
"Well..first off..we had big problems to find you after that small bastard did the konso, since you'd passed out and everything. At the first sight we, that will say me and Rukia, thought you were dead, uh again, so we brought you to Unohana-taichou and she went to check upon you and keep you there. While you were unconscious the Winter War went on and it's still not ended though. So until 3 days ago we didn't know anything about your state, but it was 3 days ago you showed, uh signs of "life" again. Ukitake-taichou was kind enough to let you stay here, 'cause it's the calmest division." Ichigo explained.  
"So..what will happen to me now?" Karin asked.  
"When you're ready, you'll going to the Academy." Rukia answered. "Along with Arizawa-san and Asano-kun."  
"That was why I asked why it is so many people here! Explain!" Karin snapped.  
"Easy easy Karin..here I go. A hollow accident in Karakura took several life such as fathers, mine, Tatsuki-chans and Asano-kuns. We just found Tatsuki-chan and Asano-kun, a week ago or something, and since Orihime-chan was alone in the real world she could get here easy, after they have saved her from Aizen. Sado-kun is still in the real world, taking care of the hollows but visits us often, and also, Ishida-kun moved here after a big fight with his dad. And there we are here today. I'm a shinigami now, at the 4th Division!" Yuzu said, smiling as she hugged Karin. "I missed you so much Karin."

"I missed you too Yuzu.."

* * *

**And so I'm done for today.. I'm gonna updated sooner now, I promise! On all of my fics!**

**Don't worry! Just support me enough!  
And I wrote "Ishida" instead of "Uryuu" because we are more used to hear his name as that..and I shall not include his father so it won't be anything about messing up names.. ^^ and also..I want to have some tips for what kind of zanpaktou Keigo can have..since I'm gonna place him..with..someone he's encounter before..hehee..and for Tatsuki! That's a secret! 'Cause I'll add some OC's/RPC's in this story too..hope you don't kill me for that..or for the OOC-ness that is going to be shown..AND I'M SORRY THAT*S NO HITSUGAYA IN THIS CHAPTER!**


	3. Starting

**I'm sorry if this chapter is short..I have some yelling parents in the background that wants me to do the dishes..  
****Thanks to: ShikalllTema and amirasyaz for your beautiful reviews! :D hope you'll continue!**

**Just a short disclaimer before the story begins: I do not own Bleach! (If I did..it wouldn't look like Bleach x.x)**

'thoughts'

"normal speaking"

* * *

Cold breezes brushed her face as silent steps crept closer. Distant voices shouted. Memories flashed by, a soccer game, oh how she loved that game, but now those times were gone. Never would she get to play again with her old friends.  
That life was really something..and now, living again, with almost all memories.  
It was like a dream, a fairytale that never wanted to end. Oh my damn bloodline..I hate it sometimes..this new life would only bring trouble, I know that. Take for example, Yuzu. She has always been the one who takes care of everyone, but what happens if she's going out to fight? I bet she isn't ready for it yet..and then we have the coward Keigo. What can he really do but run?

Oh great..they're here..

"Karin!!" Tatsuki yelled. "We're going now, come on!"

"I'm on my way!"

Shinigami Academy

"Are you ready for your best time of you life?" Keigo asked.

"You bet I am." Tatsuki answered."But I guess all you have in your mind are all the girls here, am I right?"

"Uh, right on the mark." Keigo answered kinda defeated. "But you don' have to worry Karin, Ichig would kill me if I even thought of it."

"No problems, I would kick your ass if you even tried." Karin replied.

"Hard time there Keigo? Just like Ichigo." Tatsuki said and nudged him on the arm.

"Yeah.." Keigo sobbed.

"Come on guys, we're here." Karin said and went in to the academy.

The day passed by and it was only a short day with introducing each other and to get used by the academy.

"Hey, where are you going to stay?" Karin asked checking her paper.

"I'm going to stay at the 11th Division." Keigo said."That means that I have to deal with Ikkaku-san again.." Keigo let out a small sob.

"I'm going to stay at either the Special Division 1 or the 6th Division." Tatsuki said."Special Division 1? Some kind of special people there or?"

"I heard they we're..weird.." Keigo said."By the way Karin, where are you going to stay?"

"5th Division." Karin said and shrugged."Wonder what people it is there.."

"Ichigo is always there you know, he's their captain now." Tatsuki said.

"Yeah, I'm going to live with him..again..even afterlife.." Karin sighed.

"I guess he's just too busy with paperwork, so don't worry." Keigo said. "And also..in the 11th Division..I guess it's no girls there.."

Karin sighed again and began to walk towards the 5th Division.

"See you later guys."

* * *

**5th Divsion**

Karin walked along the path at the 5th Division and started to wonder where the hell she was supposed to stay.

"Hello, are you searching for someone?"

Karin turned around and saw a fragile girl with dark hair in a bun standing in front of her.

"Yeah..I'm searching for my brother..kinda.." Karin replied. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Oh Kurosaki-taicho_(**A/N:** I got directions by a friend that it should be 'taicho' instead of 'taichou' even though I like 'taichou' better..but I'm still gonna write Toush name like 'Toushirou' instead of 'Toshiro'..)._ He's in his office. I can take you there." The girl said.

"Yeah thanks." Karin replied and followed the girl.

A few minutes later of silence while the walked they reached the office and the girl knocked on the door.

"Come in." Ichigo's voice said and Karin walked in. "Oh hello Karin."

"Hello Ichi-nii." Karin said. "Can you please tell me where I am supposed to stay while I'm here?"

"Oh yeah, right. Hinamori-fuku-taicho, please show her." Ichigo said. "I have to finish this report for Toushirou."

"Right away Kurosaki-taicho!" The girls went out of the room and Ichigo sighed.

"She still doesn't remember him huh?"

* * *

**10th Division**

"Taichoooo~!" Matsumoto squealed. "I heard that Karin-chan just woke up!"

"Oh, that's good news Matsumoto. Can you please leave now?" Toushirou said and continued on writing on his report.

"Aren't you going to see her?"

"I'm not. Her memory is sure not regained yet." Toushirou sighed. "She will come here by her own will, until then we have to act like we don't know her. Understood?"

"Of course taicho!" Matsumoto smiled.

"Remember. It's an order." Toushirou said. 'My God, this is going to be like hell..'

* * *

**I'm sorry for not revealing why she doesn't remember him! I'm sorry! T.T**

**Next chapter are going to be longer and..there I am going to give an explanation..**


	4. Explaining, kidou and weird colours

**EDIT: Full chapter now!**

**Just tell me if I update too slow..(I know I do..) and if you want me to upload my fanfic (which I have written over 5 chapters on)**

**Just a short disclaimer before the story begins: I do not own Bleach! (If I did..it wouldn't look like Bleach x.x)**

"speaking"

'thoughts'

* * *

Karin looked over the room, a small room with a bed, beside the window, a drawer, a closet, a door to the bathroom and the a door to Ichigo's room_** (A/N: Overprotective brother..-sighs-)**_.

"Hope you'll enjoy your stay." Hinamori said and bowed.

"Yeah.." Karin said and walked in.

Hinamori closed the door and went back to Ichigo.

"This is going to be..troublesome.." Karin said to herself and sat down in her bed.

"_Just take it easy girl. Take your time."_

"Who are you to tell me?"

"_I'm you, just as you're me. We're one."_

"Please speak so people can understand."

"_Time will come young one, just wait and don't be afraid."_

A cold breeze embraced Karin as she opened her eyes slowly.

"I must have fallen asleep.." Her head felt dizzy but the cold but heartwarming feeling kept lingering in the room. Karin let the sleep take over and soon everything went dark.

* * *

**5th Division Office**

"Hinamori-fuku-taichou. I'm going over to the 10th. I got to talk to Toushirou." Ichigo said and collected some papers at his desk.

"Hai Kurosaki-taichou." Hinamori replied.

"Contact me if something happes to Karin."

"Hai."

Ichigo left the room and went out of the 5th Divisions grounds. Within a few minutes he stood in front of the 10th Division grounds.

"Calm down Ichigo, calm down." Ichigo said to himself and went in and walked to Toushirou's office, where he was still working.

"Oh heey Kurosaki~!" Matsumoto smiled. "Are you going to visit taichou?"

"Yeah.."

"Is..is it about Karin-chan?" Matsumoto said in a lower voice.

"Yeah, I'm going to listen to him why she has forgotten the last part of her life. She had no reaction at all when I'd mentioned Toushirou before, usually she would ask who the hell I was talking about, if she had a clue about it." Ichigo lowered his head.

"Good luck..it's the only thing I can say." Matsumoto said and gave off a small smile before she went out of sight.

Toushiro just finished the last reports as Ichigo knocked on the door.

"Come in." Ichigo went in and threw the papers he had with him on Toushirou's desk.

"You just came to terror me with more paperwork Kurosaki?" Toushirou's gaze went from the pile of paper to Ichigo's worrying eyes.

"I want an explanation." Ichigo replied.

"Thought so." Toushirou move the papers and made him comfortable in his chair.  
"Take a seat."

Ichigo placed himself in a chair in front of the desk and made eye-contact with Toushirou.

"Give me the reason now." Ichigo said.

"The reason is simple. A human is seperated in a heart, a soul and a body. When you die, your body stops working but the soul goes to Soul Society, but where does the heart go?" Toushirou paused.  
"It stays with the ones you loved.  
If you get to know a person, you first get to know her or him with your body, handshake, hug, eye-contact or whatever, and sometimes it just stays there and you easily forget it, but if it continues, it goes to the heart, it leaves a small mark that you hold this person dearly but it can be more, if you make it so, most friendships are like that, old classmates, old childhood-friends, distant relatives, people who you know a little more about but are easy to forget if you are too far away for a long time.  
And last..it's relationships that dwells deep in the soul, like family, best friends, boy- or girlfriends, people who have changed and created your life or the life around you.  
That's why souls with high reiatsu can often remember (**A/N: My theory..it goes good with the story, even though it's not true..**) their whole life, it all have come to the soul." A sigh escaped Toushirou's lips as he continued. "But it's only a theory."

"Well..I don't understand everything..but at least.."

"What?"

"You draw better than Rukia." Ichigo pointed at the drawings had in his hands.

"KUROSAKI!"

_**x~BBleached Break~x**_

The next day Karin woke up a 07.00 a.m as the sun shone down in to her new room.

"Time to get to the academy." Karin went to through the closet and found a red- and white uniform there.

"I guess I'm supposed to wear this."

A few minutes later was on her way to the academy, about 10 minutes passed and she met Keigo and Tatsuki.

"Hey" They said in unison.

"What's up?" Karin asked.

"Looking at our schedule. We have some kidou-training now in the morning." Tatsuki answered.

"By the way Karin-chan.." Keigo said. "Do you know why Ichigo is so beaten up?"

"Huh?"

"I saw him on my way here."

"God, he can't even get out a fight here either.." Tatsuki said and sighed.

"He was mumbling about some short, arrogant bastard.."

"He was surely talking about Hitsugaya-taichou." A voice said and the three of the, turned around and saw a green-haired girl with a black necklace with a silver carving of "first" (in japanese). "Yo guys."

"Ohayo."

"I suppose you're here for your kidou lesson right?" The girl said.

"Hai."

"Follow me, all the others waited here too."

**Special Division Training Grounds**

"First thing you need to know is that I'm Nagareko Arizu, fuku-taichou of the 1st Special Division, please only call me Arizu."

"Hai Arizu-sensei."

"I'm going to teach you how to use kidou." Arizu watched the students. "First off..stretch your hands out, then concentrated on focusing your reiatsu there."

The students focused and after a minute, about 11 students, including Karin, Tatsuki and Keigo, managed to complete the task.

"Okay, you people who did it can follow me. The rest of you can stay with Yuurei." Arizu said and pointed at a light-brown haired girl with ice-blue eyes.  
"She's the fuku-taichou of the 3rd Special Division, and please don't try to piss her off. It would give you a lot of nightmares." The said girl blushed a bit as Arizu introduced her.

The 11 students followed Arizu farther away, in to a kind of backyard.

"First kidou you're going to learn is "Bakudou 1: First restraint obstruction."" Arizu said and waved a hand, and suddenly Keigo fell to the ground, arms locked behind his back. "It makes you unable to move, or just difficult to move. A simple binding technique."

All of the students gaped in awe (not Tatsuki, she already knew almost everything about Arizu since she's living in her division.) and some of the girls began to chatter.

"Oh my God! Did you see?"

"With one hand also!"

"Wonder why she isn't a taichou!"

"She didn't even said the technique!"

"And now, I want you to try. Two and two, I choose." Arizu began to point out everyone and Karin end up with a green-haired boy..or was it a girl? Unbelieveable long hair though..about to the middle of the back, and two braids were his/hers at each side of the face in front of the ears, and a fringe which were too long for it's own good.

"Hey, I'm Aoi Midori."

"Kurosaki Karin."

The both of them smiledand shook each other hands

"Nice name Midori-san."

"Pretty colourful right?" Midori said." Blue eyes and green hair."

"Yeah." Karin said.

"By the way, I'm a boy." Midori said and laughed.

"Right!"

* * *

**Finally done.. and please don't be angry about my theory.. please.. (my opinion..)**

**I maybe draw a pic of Midori.. if you want.. I'm bad at writing descriptions..sorry.**

**And if you want to know more about the Special Divisions (I made them.. MINE!), please read my other fanfic : "Eikyuu Taida - Fear Of Blood"**

**Btw, can someone help me with what kind of zanpaktou Keigo can have? I have no ideas at all.. T.T**


	5. Talent

**I'm finally back xD (was I really gone? O-o) but whatever, just so you guys know, I will not update until I got at least 3 reviews xD and now I've got them x3**

**I think this is going to be a short update since I have much with school at the moment, so the story is going to be about.. 1 page..or I don't know ..**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Bleach**

**Claimer: Nagareko Arizu, Aoi Midori**

* * *

**Karin's POV**

As the day passed by, I found a new friend and befriended me with Tatsuki's captain, Arizu-san, and also learned me "**Bakudou 1: First Restraint Obstruction". **Pretty simple, I guess I'm better than Ichi-nii. Evil laugh, mohahahahaahaaa!  
There's something that still bothers me, it feels like there's a huge gap in my memory, even though Ichi-nii and Rukia-nee said that it was rare that souls kept their memories after their deaths I kept every memory I had until I died, I can't remember how I died and not who did the konso, guess that's life, but I want to find out.

The sun kept shining all the time until I came to the 5th Division where I met Hinamori-fuku-taichou.

"Good evening, Karin-san."

"Good evening, Hinamori-fuku-taichou, had a good day?" I asked.

"Yeah kind of, pretty much work with some reports but Shirou-chan helped me a lot." She gave off a weak smile as she replied.

"Oh I understand, if you need any help, I would glady help you, if I haven't got any training." Don't know why I offered me to do it, I hate paperwork, guess I did it because I wanted to be nice, that poor girl seems to have a hard life.

"Thank you Karin-san, but I think I'll manage it on my own." Hinamori said. "I have to go now, feel free to call me if you need something." With that she wandered off, I watched her go around the corner, where I have rounded 3 minutes ago, and wondered what had happened to her when I was "sleeping".

_**x~BBleached Break~x**_

**Normal POV**

**10th Division Office**

"Taichou!~" An eerie voice said or more squeled.

"What is it now Matsumoto?" The white/silver haired taichou said to his fuku-taichou, slighty annoyed, more and more paperwork came in, and it seemed that it never would end, damn trees, have to be the source of papers.

"Karin-chan managed to complete her first kidou today~!" A big smile was plastered on Matsumoto's face as she stepped in to her taichou's office.

"I'm not surprised, she's far more talented than her brother..well in kidou at least, we'll see how well she is in the rest later." Toushirou said.

* * *

**Well, here we go! Shorty chapter up! xD I'm writing on the other now x3 and please don't ask me why I don't kept them as one chapter..I don't know either..**


	6. The shock and speak of the devil

**Next chapter, a bit longer I think, and some more action xD almost my longest chapter ^^  
****I need help to decide what more pairings I could use..I feel like it.**

**Examples:  
**

_**RukiaXIchigo (almost most possible)**_

_**HinamoriXIchigo**_

_**MatsumotoXGin**_

_**KeigoXMatsumoto**_

_**TatsukiXRenji (almost most possible)**_

_**HinamoriXKira (almost most possible)**_

_**YuzuXHanatarou (almost most possible)**_

_**KeigoXArizu(OC/RPC)**_

_**OrihimeXIshida (almost most possible)**_

_**IchigoXOrihime**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Bleach**

**Claimer: Nagareko Arizu, Aoi Midori**

* * *

_Free as a star only captured by the sky's darkness,but still following the endless light even though your life have broken apart._

_Eyes only showing a small expression of guilt and fear._

* * *

**Normal POV**

The night came in and the moon were shining bright over the 5th Division and the strawberry captain sat in his office, reading some papers as his fuku-taichou knocked lightly on his door.

"Come in." He said with a low voice, it was easy to see and hear that it was something that annoyed him deeply.

"Is it something wrong Kurosaki-taichou?" The timid girl said with concern in her eyes.

"No, it's alright, I'm..I'm just tired, that's all. Thanks for your concern." He shook his head and looked up meeting her eyes. "Are you done for the day?"

"Yes..I just..I wanted to check upon you, you seemed so worried today." A ghost of a smile appeared on her face. Of course it was something wrong, but who was she to be someone to know? Apparently it was some family affair, and that was something she couldn't do anything in, all she could do was to watch.

"Thanks, it's just Karin, I'm worried that this is going to break her down." Ichigo took the papers and waved them in front of his face.  
"This is some serious problems that we haven't encountered before..we don't know anything about it..not me nor Toushirou, and he's supposed to know a lot more than me, but now we're standing on the first spot both of us."

As he sighed, Hinamori walked to his back and began to massage him on the shoulders.

"Don't worry, I think Karin-san is going to manage it. She's strong, you know it."

"I know..but I can't help to worry."

**

* * *

**

10th Division Office

Toushiou sat on the terrace and watched the moon and the stars. How bright they were, free but also captured by the sky, just like everyone else here. Free to do what ever their life needed to do, but captured by the Soul Society's laws and orders.

The temperature sank as he thought of this new problem, slightly angry he threw a stone in the pond making the fishes swimming around nervously, not knowing what the strange object was.

"This is going to break me down..seriously..this is going to break me down..Karin..what in the hell have happened to you?" He whispered in a low voice to himself and lowered his head as a small breeze captured the single white/silver fringe in his face, blowing it away and revealing the teal coloured orbs filled with a mixture of worry and anger.

What was he supposed to do? Nothing would change the fact that if she remembered him, it would leave a permanent scar that would open as soon as she saw him. The solution were almost 0%, what could he, they do to keep her mind intact?

Sighing, he stood up and watched the sky for the second time.

"Damn you Aizen, you've really screwed my life this time"

**

* * *

**

5th Division, Karin's room

Karin went to bed after a shower and some food that Hinamori had left in the small fridge, which Karin hadn't noticed yesterday.

The day had been rough, but also calm and nice.

People often compared her with her brother, but she didn't care, who he was is his problem, the matter was who she was..and she didn't knew it yet..it was one thing missing, but she couldn't place it, her memory was still screwed.

As she drifted in to sleep, the soft sounds of footsteps appeared again.  
A small nudge on her arm made her pay attention to the white tiger which was in front of her.

"You have some problems child?"

"You can say so. I want to know what's going on."

"No time for explanations, you have to be prepared for some shock tomorrow. Then everything will maybe reveal, if it goes the right way and if you're strong enough and willing to keep it."

"And if it doesn't goes right?"

"Then the next week are going to be a hell of a week."

"How?"

"They're calling you child, wake up."

Karin woke up and met Tatsuki's face.

"Hey a guys."

"Hard sleeper Karin-chan." Keigo said. "We had to come in to wake you up."

Turing her head to the left she saw that the clock were standing on 8:30 in the morning. Damn, I must have slept hard.

"Get ready, we have to go, Matsumoto-san are going to show us the "city" today. We're going to shop." Tatsuki said while kicking Keigo out of the room.

10 minutes later they were walking down the street to the 10th Division.

"Why are you so silent Karin? It's not like you.." Tatsuki said and looked at Karin.

"Oh it's nothing, I guess I'm just tired..I couldn't sleep.." Karin answered and faked a smile.

"But you slept like a stone when we came.." Keigo muttered.

"Only because I couldn't sleep earlier!" Karin lied, she didn't really know by herself why this troubled her so much. Nothing can go wrong, right?

"Yeah right.."

"And you Keigo, are veeeery sulky, why?" Tatsuki said, trying to avoid Karin's condition, which seemed like a bad subject at the moment.

"It's because you guys are here..I can't go on a date with Matsumoto alone then..ooooh~" Keigo cried out.

"Oh too bad for you then." Karin said sarcastically.

"You're so mean Karin..."

"Karin-chan~! Tatsuki-chan~! Keigo-kun~!" Matsumoto's voice echoed over the street."There you are! Come on, we don't have all day!"

Dragged along, they began to move in to the centre of Soul Society, walking by different shops and market stalls, they were told that once in a week it was a big market so all who wanted to sell things could do it, but other it was only those who paid for a place to stand up their stall.  
After some boring hours Matsumoto decided to go and eat, so they went to a huge ramen restaurant.  
The waiter took their orders and the group fell silent for a moment until Matsumoto spoke up(she couldn't hold it any longer).

"I invited taichou to join us today! He need a break from all paperwork!"

"Huh, that's great Matsumoto-san." Tatsuki said.

And speak of the devil, a bush of white hair stepped in the restaurant, but the thing that was really noticeable was that he wore a white haori with the black sign of "10" on the back and appeared to be very young, and short but no one ever dared to say it in his face.

"Taichou~! Here are we!" Matsumoto waved her hands above her head to show where she was and her breast bounced up and down, up and down..up and down..

"Keigo!!! Stop glaring!" Tatsuki yelled and whacked him in his head.

"Ouch! Sorry mom!" Keigo said and hid under the table.

The white haired captai noticed the noise and walked over to the table where his fuku-taichou sat with 3 teenagers, but not common teenagers, these were Arisawa Tatsuki, the one who managed to live with Arizu-san, Asano Keigo, the happy fellow who always did the mistakes, mostly because of his woman-obsession, and then it was.....

_**"Kurosaki Karin.."**_

* * *

**So how was it? A bit longer than the last chapter xD  
****I thought it was a good place to end at x3 moahahahahaaa~  
****So please review at least 3 times to get an update!  
****I updated 2 chapters today because I haven't updated for a long time! Sorry!**

**And I will also update "Trying to break free" this week, I just have to get my lazy ass from here and write it..I write everything by hand at first and then I rewrite it on the computer, so that's because I take so long on updating. ^^**

**So away with my ranting and see ya!**

**Btw, I have no idea why I'm writing this now, but from now on I will maybe be able to update more often since my summer break will start tomorrow! YAY! *happy face*  
And also..it's a poll on my profile where you can vote when I should update.**


	7. Remembering the death

**I'm back again! I'm not sure how long this chapter will be, but we'll see later then xD  
And still I need at least 3 reviews until I can upload again xD So keep going guys!**

**And for the 10th time I apologize for my bad english.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Bleach, or either it wouldn't be Bleach..**

**Claimer: Nagareko Arizu, Aoi Midori**

**Warning: Change of tense in this chapter..dunno why..I just started writing and when I was done..I was too lazy to change it.**

* * *

**Karin's POV**

I snap my head up as I hear someone say my name and there stands a guy with white hair and the most beautiful teal eyes I've ever seen, I lock my gaze with him and as I try to speak out to answer him, I feel a huge headache. I shut my eyes tight, covering myself from the world, not wanting to know what's happening, voices that wants to be heard, but they will get no answer. A glass shatters in a distant place making surrounding, random people scream.

I don't know what to do, everything is black, no one's around, no surroundings, nothing, just like a black hole, sucking everything in it's way and I must be it's latest victim.

Something warm floats down my wrist to my palm, I clenchs my hand to a fist, then I feel the pain in my wrist and palm, like a stab in the back, it must have been me who shattered the glass.

Someone approaches me, taking me in the safe arms, treating my wound carefully, not making it to bleed more.

I can barely hear them now, the voices of my friends.

"What happened?"

"Damn, her eyes went crazy.."

"Ichigo are so going to kill you.."

Three different voices that I knew from before, it must be Tatsuki, Keigo and Rangiku-san, hey..have she ever told me her first name? I just knew she was mostly called 'Matsumoto', so why did I call her 'Rangiku'?

Again, I shut my eyes tight and a flash of light appears and I'm standing on a soccer field.

So nostalgic, a soccer field..I turn my head as I hear some screaming and then I see my worst nightmare, the one who've been haunting me since my death. The hollow. Now I realize that this is my past. The past I do not remember anything of.  
I see a silhouette of a boy with a sword as long as himself, fighting the monster with all his might, okay that's an overreaction, he takes it pretty easy, but as soon as the fight is over, his face changes from serious to disgust.

I walk closer to see what he's staring at. A body, a body of a girl, which I realize is my own. Motionless I lay there, no life in my eyes, but still I don't know who this guy is, practically my saviour, but he never took any place in my heart or soul, I didn't even touched him back then(not that I remember who he is anyway..) but my mind keeps telling me that this memory is a good one, but seriously..who wants to remember their deaths?

I hear some whispers behind me, as I turn around I see myself standing there with an expression of shock, fear and surprise. I block the conversation out of my ears when the guy starts to talk to "me" (you know, the past me..), but I can't help to listen as he tells me that I will remember him by time.

"You will remember it by time, I'm sure of that Karin." He raises his sword and pats it's hilt on my forehead. "Until then Karin, bye."

I see myself disappear and the boy turns around and meets my eyes, but they aren't filled with shock, so I turn around and sees Matsumoto there. I guess they can't see me now..  
They talk for a moment and when the boy turns on a serious expression, I decide to listen again.

"Matsumoto Rangiku. You of all people should know that this wasn't the way we excepted."  
She only nods in reply and then disappears.

The boy turns his head to the sky and blinks a few times.

"Damn it..how will this end?"

Then the flash of light appears again, and I'm on a field again..but this is my field within my mind. My own place.

Usually the tiger wanders around but now, it's empty as darkness itself (lame comparison I know..).  
The boy still lingers on my mind, I want to know who he is, I want to know why I was on the soccer field with him!  
I'm going insane here, my mind is killing me with stupid questions I normally wouldn't care about, but this time I think this is a major matter.  
When I'm concentrating on remember, every little bit of him, the flash of light appears again and my eyes flings wide open.

"Karin?"

I blink with my eyes a few times. Am I really back? To reality, that will say. I must be since this is my room.

"Karin??"

I turn my head to my right to see the white haired boy sitting on a chair beside my bed, behind him Matsumoto, Tatsuki and Keigo stands.

"What happened?" I blurts out, not knowing what to say.

"Well.." Tatsuki begins. "You kinda went rampage back then, you threw your glass at the wall after having squeezed the glass so hard that you broke it. Then you just fainted."

"How long have I been here?" I ask.

"Only 4 hours." A new voice speaks up and I turn my gaze in the direction of the voice and sees that it belongs to the white haired guy.  
He has some red dots on his white haori while the left sleeve is ripped. He notices my stare at his sleeve and sighs. "It's nothing, don't worry."

"Oh.." I still can't let the truth sink in, the others must think I'm right out of characther now.

"Now go back to sleep. You need it." Bastard..I want to talk to him! But I am indeed tired..so I guess he's right.

The others leaves one by one and soon it's just me and him.

He looks at me. I look at him. The contest starts.  
Finally, after 5 minutes, he breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" I say, blinking with my eyes in confusion.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He must think I'm stupid.

"...for getting you in to all of this.." Hmm..I think that was out of characther, he doesn't seems like the type who apologizes.

"Never mind, it can't be that bad right?" I say with a grin on my face, but I guess I'm out fo the blue.

"..maybe..guess you're right. Well I'm off." Right theree buddy, you cold appearance, it fits you much better!

As he reaches the door I got to my senses and finally asks.

"What's your name?"

He smiles, or more smirks, and turns his head at me.

"**Hitsugaya Toushirou, 10****th**** Division taichou.**"

* * *

**There! I'm gonna do about 2 pages (incl. A/N) in each chapter, unless I'm in a good mood to write more x3**

**Nothing to say really, but I don't know if I'm gonna keep this tense or changing it back.**

**But either way! I still need your help with the pairings! :3**

**Love**

**Bbleached~**


	8. Revealation and feelings

**Finally up with a new story (one-shot) a update on "Trying To Break Free" and now this x3 I'm proud of myself! I have a little more time since we are celebrating the midsummer here in Sweden, oh well..I'm the only teenager in the house so I am allowed to sit here and try to write.  
**

**And also, even though this is said to be a HitsuKarin fanfic, this one is more Karin-centric, just so you know!  
Nobody(I am nobody..) have said this is a purely HitsuKarin fanfic, since I can't write fluffy things, but the major pairing is HitsuKarin and their relationship so live with it please. ^^**

**This chapter also includes a HitsuKarin moment and some revealations!**

**I want to say thanks to winter051094 for her inspiration! Am sorry I didn't do the way you wanted but you got me inspiration!**

**Warning: Change of tense in this chapter, am sorry if this is confusing you, I don't know what made me do the last chapter in present time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach in any way. This is purely fanmade.**

**Claimer: Aoi Midori, Nagareko Arizu, Arehateta Yuurei(forgot to put her name in here too), Setsuhen.**

* * *

**Karin's POV**

"What's your name?"

He smiled, or more smirked, and turned his head at me.

"Hitsugaya Toushirou, 10th Division taichou." Then he walked off, while I just smiled and went to sleep.

As everytime I heard the soft steps coming closer and I opened my eyes and stood on the open field of my inner world. Behind me stood the majestic creature of a white tiger, softly nudging me at the arm.

"You did well my child. You passed the first step."

"You mean you knew what was going to happen?" I turned around and met the amber eyes of his.

"I did." Was the calm answer.

"Why didn't you tell me then? I was worried as hell!" I said, trying to hold back my anger. I hate when things are hidden behind my back.

"It wasn't my place to tell then. It's called destiny. It's something I can't control."

"Then what is it you can control?" I said. " I need some explanation. Now."

"I understand that child, and as you might know, I am your zanpaktou spirit."

"I've figured it out already, but your name? Can you tell me or do I have to wait until I'm ready? Ichi-nii said something about that earlier." I tapped my chin with my finger and thought back when I lived in Karakura Town.

"I am one of the few zanpaktou spirits that doesn't have any strenght limits because of the name, so I could have told you my name earlier, but I felt it wasn't the time back then, you needed to be used to the new surroundings." My spirit said and looked deep in to my eyes.  
"My name is **Setsuhen**, the time-flow zanpaktou, which is based on the elements of snow, ice and wind. I can control the time- flow of the present and future, which gives me and of course you now, the ability to see the future, but in certain conditions. The future you want to see must include yourself, and I can only see what's going to happen but not exactly when and where and also not how it will work out since that's destiny."

"You're cool Setsuhen." I said and grinned, this was my own zanpaktou, my very own.

"People say that." He bowed his head and nudged me at my legs this time. "But I can also be used as a normal zanpaktou, I can't control the weather as Hyourinmaru but I can create huge blizzards and hails."

"Don't freeze me out then. Who's Hyourinmaru?"

"Very funny child." If he had a human's face, I'm sure he would have smiled. "He's Hitsugaya-taichou's zanpaktou spirit, the greatest and strongest ice-based zanpaktou in Soul Society."

"I didn't knew he was that strong.."I raised my eyebrow.

"Don't judge the book by it's cover child."

"I know." I closed my eyes in relief and soon I was in a deep slumber.

* * *

**1 week later**

I finally was allowed to go back to practice since Ichi-nii didn't want me to overwork me so he made me take off the week to rest, which I thought was boring, but Tatsuki and Keigo came by and told me the news and so on.

In the evening I stood by the outskirts of Soul Society, silently watching the sunset. It remembers me of the time I had in Karakura Town.

Soon, I decided to head back to the Gotei grounds, before Ichi-nii decides to sent a 10 man team to search for me. I sighed at the thought, he's too over protective sometimes, and I haven't told him yet about my zanpaktou.

As I soon realized, I stood outside the 10th Division Grounds, just when I thought on leaving, I felt a familiar reiatsu.  
Who's was it? Oh yeah, it was Hitsugaya-taichou from last week, his reiatsu is unbelievable cold but yet warming. Did I mention that we've come closer? He'd helped me a bit with my paperwork, we have to that too, just in case if we got some job, and you should see, he says he hates paperwork, but he's a god at it! Years of practice I guess.

I peeked around the corner and there I saw him sitting on the roof of his office. I couldn't help myself stare as I saw his face..it was full of..guilt..anger..and even fear. What did he have to fear? He was one of the strongest captains in Soul Society and probably the most handsome.

"Why don't you come up here instead of standing there and stare?" I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw that he had turned his head at me. "I do not bite you know. Maybe a frostbite or two."

"Oh..okay.." I jumped up to the roof and stood still for a moment behind him when he spoke up again.

"You can sit you know." Then I sat down, slightly embarrassed. I don't know what to say!

"How's it going?"

"Eh..good I guess, Ichi-nii finally let me practice again." I replied and smiled a little by the thought of my brother.

"I understand him." I turned my head to look at him. How could he understand?

"It's not that I understand your situation as his sister but I would have done the same thing to my subordinates. You're much more fragile if you haven't got enough with rest." He continued, still with the same face as I saw when I first saw him up here.

"What's troubling you?" I finally asked and he turned his head and I met his gaze and saw his surprised look, but then he sighed.

"It's nothing you should concern about.." He said and his gaze turned back to the empty sky, even though the sun was setting, no stars were showing.

"Tell me." I demanded. "It's bothering you, so then it concerns me."

He closed his eyes and sighed again.

"Whatever." He finally said." It's Aizen. He's moving again."

"The big bad guy?" I asked. No one had really filled me in on the fighting part yet.

"You could say that."

"It'll be okay, I know it. You guys are strong." I encouraged him.

"Thanks." He actually smiled. Hitsugaya Toushirou smiled! Where's the flying pig? Wait..the boars by Shiba maybe can fly..whatever.

"I better get going now, I have reports to do." He stood up and I followed his actions. Woah..I haven't noticed that he was way taller than me now. As I stood there and daydreamed, he patted my head as he had read my thoughts, he held his hand there as he spoke again.

"You know..I'm tired at the 'Hitsugaya-taichou'.."

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow even though he didn't see it since he was standing with his back against mine. Not touching, we're not that close!

"Just call me Toushirou, right and plain, in the future." Then he took off and I felt a small warmth spread through my body.

_**What was that feeling?**_

* * *

**Finally done! I wanted to do more, but the time said I couldn't * sobs ***

**I'm finally getting into this! I'm in a good mood for fanfics! XD**

**I have a good story plot for a SasuSaku fic too x3 I had a weird dream about them (yeah I do like SasuSaku but my dreams are random..) and then it strucked my brain I could write it down, and it's by the way an AU.**

**But back to this fic. Remember that I will include more HitsuKarin moments, but the fic is still most Karin-centric.**

**Oh some translations may be good ^^**

"**_Setsuhen_" is the japanese word for "snowflake" which I thought would fit with the time-flow thingy, and I couldn't decide if the tiger was ice, snow or wind based..so it ended up with a mix, since a snowflake is made of ice, but seen as snow and it's moving by the wind. Smart am I not? * grin ***

**Until next update..if you're lucky, this weekend.. BYE!**

**Love**

**BBleached~**


	9. Last Farewell

**Am back again! XD I have been such busy with AMV's and Digimon lately that I haven't got any inspiration to write..sorry! But I guess I have to finish this story, right? Only 1 chapters left after this one! And this one is for sure longer than any other chapter! I promise!**

If you're feeling lost on the story and all, don't worry! A sequel is going to show up, and it's called "More Than A Memory"

**I have one OC that is going to have little major part in the sequel along with my other, so if you want, please check them out on specialdivisions-webs-com (without the dashes!)**

**But now on with the story!**

* * *

Uh? What's this? Something feels..soft..  
I woke up harshly and felt that something fell off me and it rolled on the floor. Something..soft..and black and not bigger than a hand. Slowly, I crawled myself out of the bed and crept closer to the black, soft thing. What was it? But right before I could touch it, my door flew open.

"KARIN! WATCH OUT! WE HAVE AN ANIMAL LOOSE!" Typical Ichigo..barging in to the room without thinking. While I focused on the running thing called Ichigo, the little black thing moved again.

"AAAH! THERE HE IS! CATCH HIM!" What does it help to scream?

"Calm down Ichi-nii, what's the problem?" I said and stood up.

"He's the problem." Ichigo said and pointed at the black thing on the floor.

"And it is?"

"A bat."

"A what?" I asked, not understanding fully.

"A bat Karin, you know those blood-sucking animals that are said to be vampyres in disguise." Ichigo explained.

"I'm not that dumb, but how come a bat is here?"

"Bats is not vampyres in disguise. They're a symbol for the vampyres since they have a similar way too feed themselves with blood." A voice come from nowhere.

"Skip that lesson, Kuroi." Another voice said. "It's not like he's going to understand anyways."

"I heard you two!" Ichigo replied. "Come here and get your stupid pet before I use him as a doormat!"

"He's not a pet Ichigo-san!" A black haired boy with yellow eyes said and came in. "He's my zanpakutou."

"As I said before Kuroi, he's not going to listen." The other voice said and a red haired boy with ice-blue eyes walked in. "You have told him the same things over and over the last hours."

"But Taida-taichou..right should be right..right?" The boy named Kuroi said.

"Not this case." The captain said.

"Have you dyed your hair Toushirou?" I asked. This boy look almost exactly as Toushirou, except for having longer and more loose hair.

"NO! And I'm not that brat!" The boy replied sharply.

"Uh, sorry! I thought you looked just like.." I tried to say but was interrupted.

"What's up with everyone today?! Everyone are calling me that brats name!"

"I said I was sorry, okay?!" I almost shouted. God, this one was a stubborn one.

"Please put this in your memory – Eikyuu Taida, captain of the 1st Special Division." The boy, now named Taida, said and were awfully near my face and looked like he wanted to destroy something.

"Yes sir." I replied automatically.

"Good." Taida said and looked at Ichigo now. "Now that Kuroi has taken back his zanpakutou, we can get to business." The black haired boy was in full action to catch the black thing that was supposed to be a bat..or I don't know..

"The sou-taichou has given the Special Divisions to train your little sister in order to fully be able to control her zanpakutou spirit." Taida spoke up again and turned his head at me. "Are you okay with that?"

"I guess I have no other choice." I replied and I thought I saw a smile on his lips.

"Great. We're starting today as soon as you're ready." He said and took the other boy with him when he walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry if this is rushing you Karin, but I had no choice..sorry." Ichigo apologized.

"Why're you sorry for dummy?" I said and slapped his back. "It's awesome to finally be able to control Setsuhen! So get your ass out of my room so I can change!" I pushed him towards the door and checked it was completly shut before changing in to my new outfit that they left for me – a light grey shinigami outfit instead of a black one. They had this colour to not be compared to the other shinigami's, not that they were high up in space because of that, but it helped them to show that they really was from the Special Divisions.

I walked out of the 5th Divisions quaters and saw that Taida and Kuroi were waiting for me.

"Hello again." I greeted them.

"Hey" They both answered.

"Kurosaki Karin by the way." I stretched out my hand and they shaked it with pleasure.

"Eikyuu Taida"

"Kuroi, may I call you Karin-san?" The black haired boy asked.

"Karin is fine thanks."

"No it's only normal for a low ranked shinigami to respect other, and you're Ichigo-sans little sister too."

"Yeah yeah, do what ever you want." I said and smiled.

"Come one guys, we don't have all the day." Taida said and started to walk. I followed him with Kuroi on my left side.

"So how's the training going to be?" I asked out of curiousity.

"It can be hard or easy, depends on how much you trust your zanpakutou." Taida answered.  
"Oh okay." I said.

"You're going to spar against me, Kuroi and Sasumi." With a nervous but exciting feeling we walked in silence the rest of the way.

As we reached the training grounds of the Special Divisions, I was introduced to Sasumi – the third seat of the 1st Special Division. She was a nice girl with a lot on her mind and awesome green fingers! She takes care of the whole garden in the Special Divisions, she says it's because of her zanpakutou – the ability to create rain and storms anywhere.  
She was also hard to beat when sparring, she has some great reflexes. Even though looking fragile and weak sometimes and remembering me of Hinamori-fuku-taichou, she has no fear of the enemy. Luckly, I found a weak spot in her pattern, the rain could easily be dodged if knowing where to hit on the sword, but I did not use that advantage. I tried many times to use Setsuhens powers but it seemed as it was gone, I couldn't even hear its voice anymore.

"I can't hear its voice anymore." I said while panting. "And it feels like my powers are fading.."

"Hmm.." Taida tilted his head and looked at me.

"What?" I asked. It was kinda annoying to have a shorty to stare at me.

"Yuurei!" He shouted and a lightbrown haired girl came out of the house that stood beside the training grounds.

"Yes taichou?" She answered.

"Take a look at the girl." He said and pointed his thumb a me.

"Of course." She answered and walked over to me.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"Yuurei has the unique ability to feel what others feel so I guess she can answer your question why you're feeling like your powers are fading." Taida explained. "That's the reason why her zanpakutou can merge itself in to almost any weapon, but of course, it depends on what reiatsu she's using. It's often mine since I'm nearby."

"So.." I began but Yuurei kindly interrupted me.

"You can call it that I have the power to merge my reiatsu with others and transform them in to different weapons." She smiled and for a moment I though she was some kind of angel with that innocent smile and I finally relaxed and let myself be inspected.

I felt a cold hand touch my forehead and some kind of cool reiatsu merging together with mine and I slowly closed my eyes. The light surrounded me again as it used to.  
I felt the grass I used to lay on when I visited Setsuhen, maybe she took me there? No..it's more that she helps me find it. As I tried to turn around, a flash of white was seen and I understood that it had to be Setsuhen, but why was he running? The sky that used to be bright blue was now all dark and no stars were seen. Something had happened to this place, but what?

"_R-n, Karin, d--'t l-t h-m t—e y-o._"

"Setsuhen? Is that you?" I said out loud and I guess Taida and the others heard me.

"Well well..what does we have here?" Another voice appeared. It wasn't in this world. It was outside.

I snapped my eyes open and I saw a brownhaired man standing in the middle of the training grounds in a weird white robe of some kind.  
Both Taida, Kuroi, Sasumi,Yuurei, Arizu and some more people that I didn't know had their swords pointed at him. He must be the bad guy.

"My my..what's up with the commotion?" He smiled a smile so creepy that I felt myself shiver. Who was this guy?

"Traitor – Aizen Sousuke. What makes you come here?" Taida hissed and made the Aizen guy smile more.

"What do you think?" He said and brought his hand up and pointed at me. At me?! What does he want me for?

"Her of course."

"You don't dare to lay a hand on her." Sasumi hissed with the same strenght as Taida.

"I'm not going to lay a hand on her. She will come to me soon enough." Aizen said.

"What makes you think that I'm going to follow you?!" I snarled and gave him a glare but it did not work as well as I thought.

"I have your zanpakutou spirit." He said and smiled more widely.

"You damn bastard!"

"Karin! NO!" I lunged forward in hope to hit him but as I expected, I missed but I was soon up again and looked him in the eyes. Once again I tried to him but missed, the only difference this time was that he put his hand over my face as I fell towards the ground.

"You will soon come to me Karin-chan." I barely heard his last words before he disappeared, I was too occupied with breathing normally. I felt a huge head ache coming and my breathing became more unsteadier the more it hurted. My eyes went wide open and I saw the light again which surrounded me and swallowed me. I don't know if the others saw the same thing but for some reason, I found myself staring out of a window, in to a black sky. Before I could recognize myself where I was, I heard a familiar voice coming from the room next door. What I saw, or more who I saw was a shock, Aizen again, and he was talking to a man with short, grey-white hair and closed eyes.

"I hope you did a good job with surpressing her memories." Aizen spoke up.

"I did my job for sure. What'd ya thinking? Do ya distrust me Aizen-sama?" The other man replied.

"Of course not my dear Ichimaru. I was just wondering." Aizen smiled his creepy smile again.

"Well well, it was such a lucky thing that ya found her before she came to Soul Society."

"Yeah, it's such a lucky thing.." The scene disappeared and I was back to reality..or what I thought was reality. I don't know myself anymore..everything comes back..every memory..his face..I lunged myself up and stopped only to see where I was. I saw Taidas, Yuureis and Sasumis shocked faces and all I could say was a whisper before I ran off.

"I'm sorry.."

* * *

It felt like I had been running forever. I couldn't stop. I don't know why, but if I stopped I may hurt someone. Someone, no not someone. Him. Only him would be hurt. The only one I didn't want to be hurt. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I ran. I wanted to be as far as I could away from him.

I was controlled by Aizen..no, Setsuhen was controlled by Aizen. I remember it, I remember a scream..begging for help. How useless I was then, I could have done something. The reason why I was unconscious for so many years was because of Aizen. He surpressed my memories about Toushirou, the one he had the best relationship with, and knowing that my dead would affect him just because I was Ichi-niis sister, but more so, if I remembered everyone else but him, would affected him more. Aizen had this plan from the beginning. From the second the hollow appeared to now. Does he know that I'm running away? That I don't want to hurt Toushirou? I remember everything, but I can still not understand!

**Normal POV**

Taida and the others sat on the floor and discussed where Karin could have went when a new figure appeared at the threshold.

"What are you doing here?" Taida spoke up and gave the white haired taichou a glare.

"Where's Karin?" A silence fell over the room as he asked the question.

"She's..gone." Sasumi replied quietly.

"What do you mean 'she's gone' ?" Toushirou asked angrily.

"Aizen showed up, I think you know it by now and I don't know what happen but she fell unconscious and when she woke up she just ran off with a 'I'm sorry'." Taida answered calmly.

"I know he showed up, that's the reason I'm here baka!"

"You don't have to yell at me just because of that! It's not our fault!" Taida shouted back.

"You are the only ones of the divisions that have not seen his zanpakutou, because of that, you can't fell under his spells." Toushirou hissed.

"I'm perfectly aware of that, but it has nothing to do with it. Go and find Karin instead, that's our mission at the moment." Taida hissed back.

"Don't tell me what to do, you have no authory over me. You're only a captain."

"So are you." A glare contest started between the two captains and it seemed to have no end when a voice suddenly broke through.

"Stop..it..both of..you.." Yuurei hissed. "Now go and get the things you have to do before I get angry! All this negative feelings are driving me insane!"

"Yes mum." The boys said and went off.

"Where is she? If Aizen shows up now, I don't know what to do..he's not going to take away someone from me again!" Toushirou ran through the gates of Seireitei and went out in to the forests of Rukongai. He remembered what the sou-taichou had told them.

""_Remember, the highest priority is to find Kurosaki-chan and protect her. Understood?"_ Why shouldn't he protect her? Everything was her at the moment. His life.  
"_From what I've heard from Eikyuu-taichou and Arehateta-fuku-taichou, she has some powers to control time within a limit, but that she has for the moment lost the contact with her zanpakutou spirit. She's very unstable now_." She has been unstable since she woke up. Every moment she was with me or saw me, something trigged her memory. Everytime, she lost some contact with her spirit. What ever Aizen did to her, I'm not going to hand her over, and this time I'm going to keep my promise."

Karin stopped running and fell down under a tree. She was panting and exhausted. Even though being a shinigami, she was too exhausted.

"What's going on?" Karin said to herself. "I don't know myself anymore..all I want..all I see..is his dead body.." She buried her head in her knees and shivered.

"I want this to stop..I want to wake up..this is only a nightmare...it's only a dream..I want to wake up.."

At the same time Toushirou felt someones reiatsu but he wasn't sure if it was Aizens or Karins. He turned left by the next intersection and followed the small amount of reiatsu he felt.

I hope..I know it's Karin. It has to be Karin..

Toushirou speeded up to make sure to be there in time if something happens.

Karin heard footsteps coming closer, but for some reason she couldn't move her body. It didn't respond on her actions. By the time she lifted her head up she saw him coming. The white hair couldn't be mistaken.

"Why..him?" She asked herself and let a shiver go through her body once again. In no time at all, she felt the fabric of his haori embrace her and gave her some warmth back.

"You're cold." He told her and when she looked him in the eyes she saw for the first time, that they were full of concern.

"Why are you here? You shouldn't be.." Karin said back but clutched the haori tighter.

"I'm here for you." He answered and Karins eyes went wide.

"Don't..lie to me..Toushirou.."

"Why should I?" He raised an eyebrow at her reply.

"We both know that Aizen is after me! It's not safe for you to be here!"

"I'm a captain, I'm perfectly able to fight."

"But not against time."

"What?" Toushirou asked in confusion.

"I said: But not against time." Karin repeated.

"She's right Hitsugaya-kun." A voice said and Aizen appeared behind them. "No one can fight against time, but only one can control time.

"You!" Toushirou snarled and gave him a glare. "You better not lay a finger on her.."

"I'm afraid I can't my dear Hitsugaya-kun. She's going to do all the job by herself." Aizen said and smirked.

"And what makes you think that?"

"Release your powers Karin." Aizen pointed a finger at Karin who immediately snapped her closed eyes open.

"Bastard..what did you do to her!?" Toushirou shouted and pointed his drawn sword at Aizen.

"Oh nothing..nothing special." Aizen smirked again before he shot a kidou-spell against Toushirou.

"I'm sorry, but I think this is the last farwell." Toushirous eyes shot wide open as he watched the spell coming right towards him. No time to run..

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

"What now?"

"**Ukabu, Setsuhen!" **Karin shouted and the air was filled with a huge amount of snowflakes which swirled around Karins blade and formed a thin layer of ice while it still sparkled of snowflakes. The wind didn't stop even though the blade transformation was done. The power of Setsuhen was released.

"You don't dare to touch him." Karin hissed and whispered some words.

"**Toki ni nagare, teisisuru!" **The world turned bright white and when it disappeared and regained her mind, she saw that Aizen was nowhere to seen. The world seemed less colourful. As she turned around she saw something that shocked her. The kidou spell was long gone, but Toushirou was still there. Frozen with the same expression he had before she released Setsuhen. A expression between fear, anger and surprise.

"What have I done?" She asked herself quietly. She walked to Toushirou and caressed his chin and felt a stream of sadness flowing through her.

This was all her fault. Even though she wanted to avoid this to happen, she still hurted the one she loved most. Wait? Loved..?

Karin felt the tears dwell up in her eyes as she clutched his haori tighter. Yes..she loved him..this was the feeling she had felt before at the roof..love..maybe she even loved her when they first met in the real world?

Maybe..this wouldn't have happened if she haven't met him..  
Karin lost the grip of Setsuhen who slowly fell to the ground and disappeared in a dust of snowflakes.  
As the time stood still a single tear from Karins eye fell to the ground.

"I..I..love you.."

* * *

**Ugh! Longest chapter ever! I really hope you like this now.. :D am not sure if the next chapter is as long as this one..but we will see. :)**

**Please leave a review if you liked it!**

By the way: "Ukabu, Setsuhen!" is translated to: "Flow, Snowflake!" and "Toki ni nagare, teisisuru!" is translated to "The flow of time, stop!"  
Sorry if my japanese is wrong..


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